talking about stress
it feels like everyone i know online has been breaking down one after the other. i think its came through in everything ive been saying that im in a really bad spot right now emotionally. i understand that its just a really unfortunate set of circumstances and eventually things will be back to normal but its really hard to actually see that 'normal' time right now.
haha, and here i was thinking the late night sadposting would stop , ,
all i said to him was 'dude dont please' when i thought he was saying something bad
the misunderstanding is we were already talking about fetishes a little while before and he may have just worded it wrong so the wrong thing sounded like the subject. its seeming increasingly obvious and i feel really guilty about it
it feels like people are mad at me but i really dont think they are but i cant shake it and i think im just projecting my guilt and i feel like i wanna write this big apology but ibe onlt actually said three words to him and i dont know if he knows enough about what happened to even know anything about me
todays been a whole thing
i didnt ask for him to be kicked but i feel like if i didnt react so negatively it wouldnt have happened without at least a conversation
but at the same time i really dont think i was in the right state of mind to be very charitable to him anyway so i worry if it would have been worse if i did try and talk to him
i realised way after the fact that theres a far nicer interpretation of what that guy said and he might not have been transphobic at all and an argument started in the server which is over now and hes been invited back but hes not actually coming in and the guy that kicked him is anxious and guilty about it too so he stepped away for a while to cool down
basically ive been feeling really guilty all day
one sentence and i feel sick to my stomach
might be stress i think its probably stress
my stomach feels like its full of air
stressed tune lady
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