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Thanks a lot, hoes, she walked away

No more updates in case she has or - as is far more likely - I convince her to join Mastodon

Boosting all of this because I had a fun day

See, it was only a couple hours before i dipped back into it, but in a way that much more accurately conveyed what i wanted. This is especially funny to me because i actually *was* panicking a little about how to approach this person, and she *did* walk away, and then *did* come back. We ended up hanging out a lot that weekend and crashing in the same hotel room. It was a weekend that affirmed my desire to make more irl friends, and i hope that someday you and i can hang out!

I can't believe this actually worked lmao

That was the most online and the most offline I have been in years and was, tbh, one of the most fun days of my life

Make a Mastodon account for them, then approach them on Mastodon. Loophole.

Almost indefinitely too forward, or possibly not, I haven't approached a girl since I was 15, never take my advice.

@dirt other than just saying hi and be yourself? (both of which sound a little trite.) most people, myself included, tend to wing it/play it by ear. other than doing things like respecting boundaries, there's no formula that i've ever noticed beyond "don't be a dick". sorry.

@dirt Spill the beans, you massive tease. 😘

@dirt pretend you're already friends to ease your tension. no big deal to talk to a friend, right?

@eel i do love to skip ice breakers and small talk

Her: *takes off clothes*
You: β€œWhere is the boost button? WHY CAN’T I FIND THE BOOST BUTTON?”

@dirt ask them what their favourite pink floyd song is, if they say anything other than "Bike" then run away

memorize and recite this as fast as possible as loud as possible, stop for no reason:
"hey baby, do you like the new year and I have a few questions about the business and I will be there at a time when did he do exactly how I feel like I should to get a ride to work on my own and I have a lot of time to do it again soon as possible and I will get back to you and u can look at the business TO the business TO DO SO waiting"

@scarlett @dirt science shows that Pleroma users are 100% nastier in the sheets anyway

@dirt step 1: approach girls on mastodon

wait. . . .

@dirt if anyone knows how to please tell me cause my usual strategy is to just stay silent and die

@dirt oh gosh this thread is so old and so long i didnt even realize

i'm mortified

@cascode nononono it's fine. People keep boosting it and i love attention

@dirt putting one foot in front of the other one usually works.

@Jane "yeah, i'm dirt... from mastodon. world's bustiest b-cup? Uhhhhh... i had that anti-terf meme that blew up? Nothing? Ok sorry to've bothered, have a good evening."

The cool thing about being Very Popular on here is that it's worth jack shit irl. Also worth jack shit here, which is good.

@dirt just put one foot in front of the other
(dodo dodo do)

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