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HOW TO APPROACH GIRLS NOT ON MASTODON URGENT

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Thanks a lot, hoes, she walked away

No more updates in case she has or - as is far more likely - I convince her to join Mastodon

Boosting all of this because I had a fun day

See, it was only a couple hours before i dipped back into it, but in a way that much more accurately conveyed what i wanted. This is especially funny to me because i actually *was* panicking a little about how to approach this person, and she *did* walk away, and then *did* come back. We ended up hanging out a lot that weekend and crashing in the same hotel room. It was a weekend that affirmed my desire to make more irl friends, and i hope that someday you and i can hang out!

I can't believe this actually worked lmao

That was the most online and the most offline I have been in years and was, tbh, one of the most fun days of my life

@dirt
Make a Mastodon account for them, then approach them on Mastodon. Loophole.

@dirt
Almost indefinitely too forward, or possibly not, I haven't approached a girl since I was 15, never take my advice.

@dirt other than just saying hi and be yourself? (both of which sound a little trite.) most people, myself included, tend to wing it/play it by ear. other than doing things like respecting boundaries, there's no formula that i've ever noticed beyond "don't be a dick". sorry.

@dirt pretend you're already friends to ease your tension. no big deal to talk to a friend, right?

@eel i do love to skip ice breakers and small talk

@dirt
Her: *takes off clothes*
You: β€œWhere is the boost button? WHY CAN’T I FIND THE BOOST BUTTON?”

@dirt ask them what their favourite pink floyd song is, if they say anything other than "Bike" then run away

@dirt
memorize and recite this as fast as possible as loud as possible, stop for no reason:
"hey baby, do you like the new year and I have a few questions about the business and I will be there at a time when did he do exactly how I feel like I should to get a ride to work on my own and I have a lot of time to do it again soon as possible and I will get back to you and u can look at the business TO the business TO DO SO waiting"

@scarlett @dirt science shows that Pleroma users are 100% nastier in the sheets anyway

@dirt step 1: approach girls on mastodon

wait. . . .

@dirt if anyone knows how to please tell me cause my usual strategy is to just stay silent and die

@dirt oh gosh this thread is so old and so long i didnt even realize

i'm mortified

@cascode nononono it's fine. People keep boosting it and i love attention

@Jane "yeah, i'm dirt... from mastodon. world's bustiest b-cup? Uhhhhh... i had that anti-terf meme that blew up? Nothing? Ok sorry to've bothered, have a good evening."

The cool thing about being Very Popular on here is that it's worth jack shit irl. Also worth jack shit here, which is good.

@dirt just put one foot in front of the other
(dodo dodo do)

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