HOW TO APPROACH GIRLS NOT ON MASTODON URGENT
See, it was only a couple hours before i dipped back into it, but in a way that much more accurately conveyed what i wanted. This is especially funny to me because i actually *was* panicking a little about how to approach this person, and she *did* walk away, and then *did* come back. We ended up hanging out a lot that weekend and crashing in the same hotel room. It was a weekend that affirmed my desire to make more irl friends, and i hope that someday you and i can hang out! #dirtTour
Make a Mastodon account for them, then approach them on Mastodon. Loophole.
@JosephCuncarr that's not too forward?
Almost indefinitely too forward, or possibly not, I haven't approached a girl since I was 15, never take my advice.
@dirt oh no I missed this so sorry
@scullysaurus I could have used you
@dirt did it go well anyways?
@dirt other than just saying hi and be yourself? (both of which sound a little trite.) most people, myself included, tend to wing it/play it by ear. other than doing things like respecting boundaries, there's no formula that i've ever noticed beyond "don't be a dick". sorry.
@dirt big mood
@kingsmuth unfortunately, yeah 😢 😭
@dirt Spill the beans, you massive tease. 😘
@dirt pretend you're already friends to ease your tension. no big deal to talk to a friend, right?
@eel i do love to skip ice breakers and small talk
@dirt did you pull it off
Her: *takes off clothes*
You: “Where is the boost button? WHY CAN’T I FIND THE BOOST BUTTON?”
@dirt ask them what their favourite pink floyd song is, if they say anything other than "Bike" then run away
memorize and recite this as fast as possible as loud as possible, stop for no reason:
"hey baby, do you like the new year and I have a few questions about the business and I will be there at a time when did he do exactly how I feel like I should to get a ride to work on my own and I have a lot of time to do it again soon as possible and I will get back to you and u can look at the business TO the business TO DO SO waiting"
@transgendall did you just autofill me a flirt?
@scarlett that's the e-girl way
@dirt step 1: approach girls on mastodon
wait. . . .
@moth it's a puzzler, right?
@dirt Yup nothing to do about it.
@dirt if anyone knows how to please tell me cause my usual strategy is to just stay silent and die
@worstgirleva that's the number one option, i think
@cascode people keep saying that
@dirt oh gosh this thread is so old and so long i didnt even realize
@cascode nononono it's fine. People keep boosting it and i love attention
@dirt putting one foot in front of the other one usually works.
@imani i'll believe it when i see it
THERE ARE GIRLS NOT ON MASTODON???
@dirt omg omg omg omg omg
@eject lmao it's fine. i figured it out
@dirt explain to the rest of us pls 💜
@dirt a...Alf...titty? Valid to eat teeth?
@Jane "yeah, i'm dirt... from mastodon. world's bustiest b-cup? Uhhhhh... i had that anti-terf meme that blew up? Nothing? Ok sorry to've bothered, have a good evening."
The cool thing about being Very Popular on here is that it's worth jack shit irl. Also worth jack shit here, which is good. #dirtTour
@dirt just put one foot in front of the other
(dodo dodo do)
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