Welcome to the bunghole
We got Kevin James.
We got everything you want
As long as it's Kevin James.
We've got 'Paul Blart the Mall Cop,'
'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2,'
We have the first 'Grown Ups,'
As well as 'Grown Ups 2!'
In the bunghole
Welcome to the bunghole!
Get on your

Bu bu bu bu bu bu butt butt butt

i'm gonna be so fucking famous for this

F Scott Fitzgerald is fine and all that, but i'm pretty sure i wrote the Great American Post, so

i've actually been sitting on this since 2015. When i was working at the bank, i was part of a project to convert a bunch of the computer software to bring it into the 21st century. We worked like 5 pm - 5 am. They played that welcome to the jungle song at the kick-off to fire people up (lol) and i was thinking about how much it sucked. Also nobody at that job could pronounce "chipotle" which confounded me

When i first posted this, it completely flopped. It got like one boost and three faves, then nothing for three weeks. i boosted it on a whim in November, the only time i have ever self-boosted it, and it caught on like wildfire. Whenever it gets rediscovered, it feels like it gets a lot more attention then it actually does because it is very long, so every interaction takes like 2/3 of my phone screen, which means scrolling through notifs takes a while creating the illusion of virality

@dirt dirt was it you who wrote that great tony soprano toot???

@dirt hmm maybe! Thank you for pointing me towards the truth

@dirt it's gonna be stuck in my head all day. again.

@dirt I cant believe you set out to write the great american post and you did it

@dirt I suppose I will amend my previous statement to be that I can fully believe that you did it but I am impressed

@Roxxie_Riot @dirt ohhhh oh no oh no oh no *smashes the 'in case of Kevin James' cabinet glass* I'm coming, Dirt! Don't follow the jokes!

@moth @dirt *is consumed by the ever explanding Bual Plart: Fleashmall

@moth @dirt *I whisper from behind a cellar door* She's been singing for hours...

@dirt ffs I’m going to be singing this all day

@dirt nothing in the last 2 months has been as good as this

@dirt this is an absolute masterpiece and I will never not boost it when I see it

@dirt I keep seeing this and have this vivid memory of this being essentially the first post i saw on mastodon. Thank u dirt for this wonder

@dirt this was the best toot of 2018. I am so fond of it

@toilet it got like 3 boosts and 10 faves at first lol

@dirt thats absolute crap. I cant believe this hasnt hit the 200 boost mark yet

Akright! Been looking fowards to Elmo's Christmas...let's get to it :blob_raccoon_coffee:

Sign in to participate in the conversation

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!