went back to reddit for dating advice. seems right

this is very helpful. understanding why my last relationship fell apart

the suggestion was for men to take showers and ask questions if they wanted to be successful at dating

oh no this thread is about if men & women can be platonic friends and the consensus is... not great

@citrustwee i'm picking up all kinds of tips, tricks, and cheat codes

@dirt so you're saying that if i put on my Richard Sanchez cosplay i will get a girlfriend... i see

@citrustwee @dirt memorize some lines from Harry Potter to really seal the deal.

@dirt So this is why I can't get a girlfriend, I have no love for Harry Potter. It all makes sense now.

@maloki @dirt Don't give up. I've never been into any fandom but I still managed to find somebody.

@starbreaker I don't think either of us were too serious. :)

I got my boyfriend, just no girl friends :P

@dirt ending it with "my gf-to-be" might the biggest self own I've ever seen in regards to giving advice on how to get a girlfriend

@dirt my favorite genre of advice is "incredibly specific to the giver's life experience, but assumed to be universal"

@Pixley @dirt just hand in there, kid. eventually an owl with a hogwarts letter will come

@dirt hey yall been out the game for a minute any advice?

Some rando: first of all have you read honestuck? I know a girl and she likes it so start there.

Edit: why all the downvotes?

@laser what makes you think that was getting downvoted and wasn't the 3rd highest post?

@dirt this advice helped me a lot I recently spent a few days memorizing lines wizard use whenever they make their pees and poops disappear and now I have three different girlfriends the only problem is that I have to see the new harry potter movie three different times and I have to act surprised when the new wizard character messes up when they say "SHARTUS DEPARTUS" and accidentally teleports a turd into their professor's chair just as she starts to sit down

@dirt Well apparently lesbains are all colonialist monsters now so I guess nobody wins and we'll all die unhappy.

@dirt this is definitely the advice of someone who has been in many long, fulfilling, and absolutely real-and-not-imaginary-actually relationships

@Pixley @dirt are you saying they shouldn't love and respect each other? That is a WILD take karen.

@laser @dirt yes Jake that's what I'm saying, I am very good at relationships

@Pixley @dirt @muppetbutler you're nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine in a million

@dirt you'll be shocked, absolutely shocked that women aren't looking for an absolutely boring average man

@prophet_goddess Karen went back to bad NYT articles and i threatened to go back if she did so... here we are

@byttyrs @dirt

Claire, please get off Reddit. You have friends here that love you, and we're worried.

@dirt I’m excited to do the okcupid thing this summer that’s going to be an adventure

@Torie pro tip: let your shitposter friends make every decision for you. Works 100% of the time, in my experience (1/1)

@dirt I love these cuz these guys tell on themselves so badly. "Average" guys seem to do fine, hell even "below average," these guys are just staggeringly repulsive and can't comprehend that only a handful of people are staggeringly repulsive.

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