Wife: which of the veggies tale is most likely to be a sex pest
Me: mr. lunt
Wife: i said sex pest, not sex legend

Me: please... it is so hot in here... im dying
The office A/C, broken, giving zero fucks:

you, a simple fellow: Yankee
me, a distinguished and genteel sort who also reads things incorrectly:

one of the most Meathead Butch® things i have done was when i was dating a girl. she invited me to her place for Sexy Reasons and i, expertly dodging all the hints, fixed her sink instead
((she is my wife now))

hg boosted

how to hug an chicken:

1) they put them chin on shoulder, you put your cheek on they necc

2) hold in lap and provide armpit to tuck into

tfw ur ultra femme wife kisses you and u gotta rub all the lipstick off ur face after to look like a tough non-smooch'd guy

hg boosted

I guess you could say I like Scorpia
*flashes knuckle tats that say BUG WIFE*

tfw ur wife is snoozin and is a lil chilly and all curled up so u put another blanket on her to make her hella snug

hg boosted

selfie, eye contact 

be kind to yourself! you deserve it

faving all your toots so you know I have read them and like you also

the story of tumblr grandpa 

the story of tumblr grandpa 

the story of tumblr grandpa 

the story of tumblr grandpa 

the story of tumblr grandpa 

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LGBTQ.cool

A general purpose instance for all kinds of cool LGBTQ people and allies.