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it's the finally the time to admit it to myself - I'm non-binary

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f̶r̶e̶q̶u̶e̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶k̶e̶d̶ not asked at all questions

psst, @Gargron, there is a chance to get like 150-500 small contributions to Mastodon (including documentation, outreach, research, quality assurance, and the actual code of course)

more info here:

visiting doctor today, probably my first time ever without a parent. wish me luck.

neud :autism: boosted

r/traa post, may contain sensitive content 


I'm 16 years old.
my stepmother recently threatened me that some day she will take all my electronics and cut off the access to my bank account for me (father can as a guardian, he has full access to it). admittedly, she has never really done anything out of what she threatened me with before, but it made me feel insecure enough to think about it - how to keep the money safe in case of such a situation? to be honest, I don't know where to hide cash safely at home so that nobody would find it.

22:50. maybe time for a lunch/dinner.

mom: don't your nails make it harder to use your phone? they're so long.
me: no
sister: I have longer and it doesn't lol
mom: but you're a girl so that's normal

they will both be really fucking surprised on some day

I'm starting to think about things in my mind in English. I'm not a native speaker, I always lived and am living in a nation that speaks a Slavic language. it's all only because I hate using gendered words when thinking about myself. I mean, when you speak English, you use a verb, append an "s" or not and that's all. but when you speak my language, you need to use its appropriate variant, which often depends on gender.
just imagine how often you refer to "I" in a past tense in a simple talk.

suicide thoughts 

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suicide thoughts 

my sister's "joking" now about me changing gender. it was like 3 times just today (19.08, drafted; no internet).

I wonder if she really just realized that, found some of my social accounts where I don't hide that in any way (even using trans flag on avatars) or really just joking.

on vacation with my family

room owner: "will your daughters ______?"
family: "hahahahaha how could she think this way?"
me: "hahahahaha"
me, but inside: YES

another dysphoria time
cause: misgendering myself in my mind

"a normal man would recognize immediately"

well, thanks dad? :valid:

defederation recommendation 

dysphoria: *hits, when you're with family*
family: "hey, why are you upset? [upset word in male-gendered form]"

I had a dream first time in a while and in this one I was trapped by the most known anti-abortion activist in my country

what. the. fuck.

neud :autism: boosted

Domain Block, transphobia, no captiion, sorry :( 

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