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it's the finally the time to admit it to myself - I'm non-binary

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f̶r̶e̶q̶u̶e̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶k̶e̶d̶ not asked at all questions

mom: don't your nails make it harder to use your phone? they're so long.
me: no
sister: I have longer and it doesn't lol
mom: but you're a girl so that's normal

they will both be really fucking surprised on some day

I'm starting to think about things in my mind in English. I'm not a native speaker, I always lived and am living in a nation that speaks a Slavic language. it's all only because I hate using gendered words when thinking about myself. I mean, when you speak English, you use a verb, append an "s" or not and that's all. but when you speak my language, you need to use its appropriate variant, which often depends on gender.
just imagine how often you refer to "I" in a past tense in a simple talk.

suicide thoughts 

suicide thoughts 

my sister's "joking" now about me changing gender. it was like 3 times just today (19.08, drafted; no internet).

I wonder if she really just realized that, found some of my social accounts where I don't hide that in any way (even using trans flag on avatars) or really just joking.

on vacation with my family

room owner: "will your daughters ______?"
family: "hahahahaha how could she think this way?"
me: "hahahahaha"
me, but inside: YES

another dysphoria time
cause: misgendering myself in my mind

"a normal man would recognize immediately"

well, thanks dad? :valid:

defederation recommendation 

dysphoria: *hits, when you're with family*
family: "hey, why are you upset? [upset word in male-gendered form]"

I had a dream first time in a while and in this one I was trapped by the most known anti-abortion activist in my country

what. the. fuck.

neud :autism: boosted

Domain Block, transphobia, no captiion, sorry :( 

decide to start transition. come out on internet in places where some your real life friends are. choose a new username and start changing it everywhere, because your current reminds you of your assigned gender. insert trans flags in various places.

then start thinking, "what if I'm just faking it?"

a ticket app that doesn't allow you to buy tickets. fucking useless.

I just wanted to go back home from this fucking city so I gone to a bus station. turns out that door don't open automatically here and you have to insert a button yourself to do it.

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