I'm starting to think about things in my mind in English. I'm not a native speaker, I always lived and am living in a nation that speaks a Slavic language. it's all only because I hate using gendered words when thinking about myself. I mean, when you speak English, you use a verb, append an "s" or not and that's all. but when you speak my language, you need to use its appropriate variant, which often depends on gender.
just imagine how often you refer to "I" in a past tense in a simple talk.
decide to start transition. come out on internet in places where some your real life friends are. choose a new username and start changing it everywhere, because your current reminds you of your assigned gender. insert trans flags in various places.
then start thinking, "what if I'm just faking it?"